Co-Creation and Control

In the process of helping clients create successful, happy lives, I expose them to a variety of tools and techniques to transform how they see the world. Depending on how deep clients are ready to dive, some of the concepts get quite challenging. The work is pinned to awareness of the mindset we bring forth in any given moment. As one progresses from Level 1 in the Energy Leadership model (characterized by a “Victim” view of the world) to Level 7 (an enlightened “Creator”), we evolve from feeling isolated to an awareness of our connection to all things.

The early stages of personal transformation are relatively concrete: Creating a vision of an ideal future, setting and prioritizing goals, and developing habits to work continuously toward them. Later, as we explore levels 6 and 7, we consider the idea “Relax. Nothing’s under control.” One wise client in my most recent group asked, “Pete, how can I reconcile the idea that nothing’s under control with the idea that we choose to create the results we want?” I flummoxed my answer on the call and vowed to bring a clearer response after giving it some thought. Here it is.

As awareness of our connectedness – with customers, colleagues, friends, family, indeed the world and the universe – expands, there is a concomitant letting go of ego, of “I.” Being in control requires that there be an “I,” as in “I am in control.” Letting that “I” go makes things seem easy. It removes stress that comes from the responsibility that we must make so much money or be the perfect parent. It is, I have come to understand, the only way to be at my full creative potential.

But how, then, do we reconcile this letting go with our efforts to create results? The answer is that we don’t create anything. We co-create. Our intentions, our efforts, our focus, our energy all help us create possibility and potential. So do everyone else’s. It is the coming together of our collective intentions and efforts that determines the outcomes that show up. We are all in this together. We are co-creating the world – both for ourselves and collectively.

When we focus our energy, with loving intention, on something we wish to accomplish, it’s there – in the pursuit -- that success is found. We are here to play the game well, to enjoy the playing, and to be delighted at what we discover comes to us as a result. Focusing on how we play – not on the specific outcome we want – is how we create happiness and abundance. While “I’m” not in control, “I” am influencing everything that happens.

Seeing with a Level 6-7 mindset is NOT always the right choice. Sometimes we’re best served by buckling down, putting our Level 2 conflict hat on and girding for battle. But if the situation calls for intuition to guide your decision making, then find the strength to let your “I am in control” go. Visualize exactly what you want. Set goals. Then jump! Focus, work your ass off and love the fact that you have the opportunity to play this game. The results of your efforts might surprise you because, well, you’re not the only one driving the bus!


Consider investing in yourself to truly understand what brings you joy and how you can use that awareness to increase revenue and kick your life and career into high gear. Whether through one-on-one coaching, or a cost-effective group coaching program, what you discover will help the work you do feel effortless! Click here to learn more.

Pete Colgan works with sales and marketing professionals who want strategies to handle the stresses of their profession so they can create successful, happy lives.